Dear Student,
Thanks for being candid with me about your academic struggle this term and the shame you’re experiencing about it. I can’t help you process that, but I can say that I don’t need you to feel badly or even apologize. I trust that you’re having a valuable learning experience in some way. I don’t hope to see your learning come through self-sabotage, but I don’t know everything that’s going on in your life and so I can’t judge what you need to prioritize this term. I will continue to make opportunity for you to succeed, but I don’t have any control over what you are able to focus on and achieve.
You haven’t turned in any assignments for this course, even though I granted extensions and you’ve told me repeatedly they were on their way. We can talk about that if you want, but I’m not going to chase you down about it. That ball’s in your court.
You asked what I’d like to see from you in class for the rest of the term. The truthful answer is that I’d like you to do good acting work—prepared, connected, on action, rhythmic, vital, etc. That may be out of reach at this point depending on the priorities and choices you need to make. If that’s the case, it’s okay. Failure is not the end. In fact, it’s necessary if you’re going to grow. It’s up to you, and I’m fine either way. If you’re able to prepare some good acting work, that would be fun to explore together. Also, it’s just acting, so we’ll probably survive if you’ve got other stuff to focus on in the limited time remaining this term.
I want to reiterate that all of this is your education, and it’s not just about getting grades in classes. It’s about choices and priorities and learning through mistakes and figuring out what’s actually important to you, because “having it all” isn’t a thing—that’s a myth that will only keep you overworked and undernourished. I think “having what matters” is more fulfilling in the end. This is something that I am exploring continually in my own life—and I never seem to get closer to “learning” it—so I think it’s probably more a life practice than a life lesson.
Maybe the failures of this term are your best, bravest work yet. I think that’s only true if you’re making the most of this learning moment and growing toward a more sustainable future. If so, then that’s something I admire, and maybe something you can feel proud about too.